Her eyes, still that same incredible piercing blue, catch mine in the rearview mirror. We both look away when they do. I think we each want to watch each other without having to look at one another. I can't speak to her. I know the things I am capable of saying, and I want her to be the only one with regret from this day.
So we're taking the drive I think I've always known would come someday. My only daughter, my first born, needs to go to Gramma's for a couple of days so that I can try to not hate the person she's becoming, and she can hopefully find a way to feel for someone other than herself. I shed tears on the way; I'm pretty sure she did not.
Maybe Gramma can break through. Maybe a break is the best thing. Maybe my daughter can find some answers in the separation.
I hope so. I hope this is the low point for awhile. I hope this dramatic reaction sends the intended message and prompts the desired reaction. I hope those blue eyes open up again soon. I hope we can stop looking away.
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